By Ryan (Politics Category Editor)

I’m really tired, I’m worn out and I’m done! Since the end of the Reverend Wright issue last month the Dem. nomination process has taken its toll on me. For weeks all we’ve heard are back and forth arguments between Obama and Clinton. Unfortunately these arguments haven’t been on substantive issues. All they’ve been are petty blame games and tattle tale politics.

For these passing weeks all I’ve seen on the politics pundit roundup are commentators regurgitating the same thing they said a day ago. The news cycle has become so bland that turning on the TV gives me a headache. My mind now swirls in a swath of punditry gone bonkers. The reason? There exists a lack of political events to report on, which in a way is a good thing.

Americans can take a break from the polarizing campaigns to worry about more pressing issues like the dwindling economy, a bad war gone badder or hefty fuel prices. Sadly for someone like me and many other political hooligans we are addicted to the game of politics. So even though no actual events like a primary or debate have occurred a need still exists to stay in touch with election politics.

But this treachery must stop! I’m going nuts with all the useless political commentary from moderates, liberal and conservatives. Can’t we just take a break?

There is no need for much more than a whisper of punditry or commentary. All I want is to just get to Pennsylvania already. It’s been a long and agonizing wait and Pa. is only a week away now. There’s no need for any commentary. All we have are “if she wins” or “if she loses” or even more dreadful “if she wins by less that 5%.” It’s just gotten boring, we won’t know anything until the Pennsylvania primary on the 22^nd, because everything depends on that date. We can’t say “if she wins Indiana” until the judgment of the Pennsylvania electorate. So if your like me and you’ve just gotten a little sick of it all, just relax. Go watch some Battlestar Galactica for a good political melodrama or discuss something important like the rising price of rice. But for gods sake don’t watch, read or listen to the replicated nonsense of pundits until after Pennsylvania!

Things to do until Pennsylvania:

Predict who will win the Pa. primary?

Predict who will be the Dem. Nominee?

Predict who will be the next President?

Predict which Dem. candidate will win the female vote in Pa.?

Or my personal favorite, predict who’ll last longer, Robert Mugabe or Hillary Clinton?

Popularity: 3% [?]

By Lesley (Editor-In-Chief)

Hubdub, a website that allows users to bet play money on news events, is reporting a rising phenomenon of users becoming Hubdub addicts, or Hubdubaholics as they’re calling themselves.

If you recognise any of these characteristics, then seek help immediately:
1. You are obsessed about the weather: You check the forecast in Angola (when you live in LA) and stay up to 3am waiting for it to rain in Denver (when you live in NYC).

2. You develop an intense passion for politics: You follow every second of every speech made by Clinton and Obama: you have a wager on whether Hillary will cry again and how many times Obama will say “change”. One Hubdubber said, “I’ve never been so interested in politics in my life”.

3. Your chores are left undone and life is put on hold: 25 year old Laura* who admits that she hasn’t done any laundry or cleaning since discovering Hubdub, says sheepishly, “I am in a worried state for my own future”, and goes on to confess, “I have printed charts and progress lists everywhere. Rise and fall, I crosscheck it all!”

4. You forget to eat: One Hubdubaholic, David (age 18), confirms that he’s “forgotten to eat some days” and is “certain (enough to bet $1000 on Yes) that he’s far from alone in his experience”. “I was so busy worrying about who will win the March 4th Primaries that I forgot all about lunch”

5. You begin to lose rational thought: You hear a news story about a missing child and think – do I have a wager on that? You structure your life around the opening and closing of the financial markets. “I drool like Pavlov’s dog when I hear the opening and closing bell of the DOW, wondering which wagers I won” says Adam (age 34). And your whole day revolves around the site, “As soon as I wake, I Hubdub. Fresh out the shower? I Hubdub. As soon as I get into the office? Hubdub. My daily commute? Leave home shortly before the DAX closes, arrive at work before the DOW opens, leave work after the DOW closes, and make it home before the reality shows and evening news shows.”

6. You begin to treat news like porn: You hide your PC screen whenever your boss walks by and you sneak news peeks like you’re visiting an adult entertainment site. “I feel so guilty, but I can’t stop myself, it’s so riveting” says Adam.

7. You suffer insomnia: You have sleepless nights about losing too many Hubdub dollars overnight on the latest NFL question. You toss and turn wondering if Britney will be hospitalised again.

8. Your reading and TV habits alter dramatically: You read every section of the newspaper and race home from work/college just to catch the latest headlines. One Hubdubaholic from New York admits that he “Asked to borrow a newspaper from a fellow commuter on the way to work to check for info on whose flashbacks will appear in LOST that night.” Another confesses that “All the sites and blogs that I used to visit, I don’t visit anymore.” And TV viewing becomes increasingly impossible, “I even have to turn off “Jeopardy!” because I can’t think about that and Hubdub at the same time.”

9. You have vivid and recurring dreams: You dream about making it onto the leaderboard, or just notching one rank above your buddy, proving that you are indeed smarter than them. According to Stephen, age 30, “I think about it all the time, even in my sleep. Nothing beats the thrill of winning a prediction. Or, of climbing the leaderboard. Or, of knowing that I was right when others were wrong.”

10. You become isolated: You wonder how to include other Hubdubbers into your “real” life, for they are the only ones you can communicate with. You stop socialising because alcohol dulls your brain and it needs to stay sharp to hubdub. “I had a couple of glasses of wine last week then got onto Hubdub and lost myself a couple of thousand Hubdub dollars on what will be top of the box office this weekend…never again.”

It is feared that things could go from bad to worse now that new functionality has been introduced allowing users to compete hard against their friends.

Please remember folks, friends don’t let friends drink and Hubdub. And whatever happens, it’s only a game. Isn’t it?

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent (but addicted)

Popularity: 6% [?]