It is rumoured that Adnan Ghalib, Britney’s paparazzi ex-boyfriend, is doing the rounds with a sex tape, taken during the couple’s trip to Mexico in January. Marginally less nauseating than previous threats a sex tape of Britney and K-Fed would emerge, but still kind of gross.

The tedious details offered by the National Enquirer: “the video starts with Britney undressing…She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there. The sex wasn’t particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout.”

Hot or not?
Snore. Didn’t we see the pink bob years ago? It seems as though this story came about because Britney’s second appearance on ‘How I Met Your Mother’ was just not enough to meet the insatiable Britney quota of the tabloids.

It is totally plausible, too plausible – very easy to believe that on-again-off-again Ghalib is making one last grab for money from Brit; even easier to imagine Spears, who professed virginity until marriage while romping around in butt-skimming schoolgirl skirts, continuing to practice illicit sex on tape.

I’m starting the market at 68% due to the wide circulation of the rumours, but I predict this one will be a fizzer.

Paris v Britney: Girl on Girl
Sex tapes are celeb currency. If this rumour turns out to be true, the next market question will be “Will this sex tape outsell the classic ‘One Night in Paris’”? Sources say a Britney sex tape could go down as the highest selling porn tape of all time.

The markets are hovering with anticipation…

Popularity: 2% [?]

By Tisha (Entertainment editor)

Britney Spears this week starred in sitcom ‘How I Met Your Mother’, giving the show its highest ratings since its debut. This is little surprise, as avid tabloid watchers will vouch they have well been in withdrawal since the most recent lame tidbits of Britney news: daddy still has the estate, Heidi’s wholesome nuclear home is still Britney-free, Adnan has not proposed, and there have been no signs of another imminent mental collapse.

Britney’s portrayal of a flirty tattoo parlour receptionist on the show was described as bringing back the old Britney Spears. The Britney Spears that hadn’t had two marriages, two kids and two divorces. The pre-vag-flashing, Madonna-pashing Britney. Yes, cast your minds back to the 17-year old, blonde and provocative but virginal schoolgirl.

When tracing the transition from American sweetheart to white trash, it is clear that this is a girl who has had her life intertwined with her art for so long that the public that they each seem an appropriation of the other. ‘Piece of Me’ is Britney’s parody of the paparazzi’s portrayal of Britney’s paparazzi-created lifestyle, as she sings

“I’m Mrs. ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’
I’m Mrs. ‘Oh My God That Britney’s Shameless’”

Yet at the same time, the public is clearly not ready for certain realities: while performing ‘Gimme More’ at the 2007 MTV awards, a black bikini donning Britney was jeered and taunted for sporting a very real, post-pregnancy body after having recently given birth to her second child. The illusion of the highly sexualised star and the reality of motherhood could not comfortably be fused by the media, and so came Britney’s fall from grace into tabloid hell.

Britney Spears is a media-created mirage as fleeting as her songs, dressed up to catch a cynical public’s momentary interest before fading into oblivion down the charts. So Will Britney have a top ten single in 2008? I hope so.

Popularity: 3% [?]